The Privilege of Freaking Out

My dog freaks the shit out of me. Years of denying him food from the table and shoving him away when he’s licking my hand as it hangs over the bed while I’m trying to sleep, and yet every day i walk in the door from work he runs to me to greet me. That kind of loyalty just freaks the shit out of me.

Republicans freak the shit out of me. Especially the Christian conservative wing. That brand of fanatic certainty and faith does not come naturally to me and because it is outside me experience, I am totally freaked out by it.

Democrats freak the shit out of me. Radical liberals, feminists, advocates for the disenfranchised, to name a few that freak the shit out of me, and I’ve marched next to them.

Social media freaks the shit out of me. I miss newspapers and phone conversations.
Foreigners freak the shit out of me. No, I am not talking about people from other countries. I am talking about anyone who has a different outlook, perception, idea, opinion… or even different eye color. Blue eyed people are just shifty.

Other races freak the shit out of me. But that’s probably only because I freak the shit out of them. But then that’s probably only because they freak the shit out of me. But then that’s probably only because humanity has a history of cyclical behavior.

White people freak the shit out of me. I mean, would you trust this face? Of course you would, and that is plain creepy.

My government freaks the shit out of me, but that’s a simple one. It’s not that the majority of polititions are exactly like me (I am damn well represented in government), governments should freak the shit out of people, and anyone who is not freaked out by their government freak the shit out of me.

People who are freaked out by their government freak the shit out of me, leaving me caught between two large groups of people that freak the shit out of me, all carrying guns.

But what really freaks the shit out of me is that I won’t be the first one shot. That’s going to be someone who doesn’t have the luxury to get freaked out by shit, because getting freaked out means you have the time to worry what MIGHT happen. The first person to get shot will be someone who shit has already happened to, someone who’s luxury has already been bought and sold by virtue of the very thing they see in the mirror.

Mirrors freak the shit out of me; I trust the face I see there when he tells me that I have nothing to worry about.

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